Gray-haired riders don't get that way from pure luck.

The Death of Common Sense©
Lori Borgman
www.loriborgman.com

Three yards of black fabric enshroud my computer terminal. I am mourning the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense.

His obituary reads as follows:

Common Sense, aka C.S., lived a long life, but died from heart failure at the brink of the millennium. No one really knows how old he was, his birth records were long ago entangled in miles and miles of bureaucratic red tape.
Known affectionately to close friends as Horse Sense and Sound Thinking, he selflessly devoted himself to a life of service in homes, schools, hospitals and offices, helping folks get jobs done without a lot of fanfare, whooping and hollering. Rules and regulations and petty, frivolous lawsuits held no power over C.S.

A most reliable sage, he was credited with cultivating the ability to know when to come in out of the rain, the discovery that the early bird gets the worm and how to take the bitter with the sweet. C.S. also developed sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adult is in charge, not the kid) and prudent dietary plans (offset eggs and bacon with a little fiber and orange juice).

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, the Technological Revolution and the Smoking Crusades, C.S. survived sundry cultural and educational trends including disco, the men's movement, body piercing, whole language and new math.

C.S.'s health began declining in the late 1960s when he became infected with the If-It-Feels-Good, Do-It virus. In the following decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal and state rules and regulations and an oppressive tax code. C.S. was sapped of strength and the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, criminals received better treatment than victims and judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional baseball and golf.

His deterioration accelerated as schools implemented zero-tolerance policies. Reports of 6-year-old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing classmates, a teen suspended for taking a swig of Scope mouthwash after lunch, girls suspended for possessing Midol and an honor student expelled for having a table knife in her school lunch were more than his heart could endure.

As the end neared, doctors say C.S. drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding regulations on low-flow toilets and mandatory air bags. Finally, upon hearing about a government plan to ban inhalers from 14 million asthmatics due to a trace of a pollutant that may be harmful to the environment, C.S. breathed his last.

Services will be at Whispering Pines Cemetery. C.S. was preceded in death by his wife, Discretion; one daughter, Responsibility; and one son, Reason. He is survived by two step-brothers, Half-Wit and Dim-Wit.

Memorial Contributions may be sent to the Institute for Rational Thought.

Farewell, Common Sense. May you rest in peace.
©1998 Lori Borgman
www.loriborgman.com

This article was modified to add the line:
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone!

The lack of Common Sense is evident in most of society, examples of which are too numerous to mention. Add this to the fact that stupidity is running rampant throughout the masses gives one much to think about. Someone might wonder at the motivation that would cause a rider to travel at high speed on a urban street when just obeying the rules of the road are dangerous enough with most of the other people out there with no concerns other than their own. Laying the blame on the young doesn’t cut it, because they learned from the old. Many of the old seem to have gotten there through dumb luck. Bad traits and misguided ideas are passed down as we multiply, causing the situation to escalate in unbounded strides. The rulemakers try to stem the flow by putting unfair restrictions on the lawbiding and not enforcing the proper amount of punishment on the criminal. Giving youth unrestricted freedom without proper guidance and not making them face the responsibility of their actions is no way to develop a society where the average person can feel safe and protected.

This society needs to learn how to Educate not Legislate in order to run smoothly. It also has to start making the people who think they are in charge accept responsibility for their actions.

When something goes wrong do not reward the people responsible, then ask them to try again. Chances are they are the main problem. Replace them!

That’s enough soapbox for now. I just get a little upset when we lose a biker through what seems to be lack of common sense or stupidity.

The Bike community gets smaller again:

• Motorcyclist dies in downtown crash
• Two motorcyclists die within three hours
• Surrey man dies in Delta motorcycle crash

Motorcycle crashes:

• Uxbridge man seriously hurt in motorcycle crash
• RCMP needs help finding motorcycle in hit-and-run

A win for the Hells Angels which show that not all Outlaw bikers are criminals:

• Bureaucrats back biker bar

The continuing saga of the Hells Angels:

• Long History Of Violent Rivalry Led To Biker Shootings
• Attorney for alleged Hells Angels member seeks personnel records of sheriff, sergeant

Repercussions from the confrontational relations between 1%ers:

• Street Vibrations: Will it Return to Sparks?

FBI sting the Bandidos:

• FBI's undercover motorcycle shop nets dozens of arrests

Sturgis North:

• Sturgis North to return despite outstanding debts

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Modern Day Biker

By BikerCrap

I’m a modern day biker, got a scooter to prove it, got ink on my arm, took 5 minutes to choose it.

My putt she’s a beauty 40 grand worth of chrome, I'd never rode when I bought her, so I trailered her home.

I bought her on credit, accessories up the wazoo, bought some worn chaps and a leather jacket on HD credit too.

I got me some apes, about 3 feet tall, they’re way over my head, can’t reach them at all.

Big carb and big cam, big tire to boot, but I pray she don’t break cuz I can’t fix my own scoot.

Couple falls, couple crashes, another 5 grand in fix’n, now I got my permit just can’t take my little vixen.

The vixen she's a hottie, she’ll be 18 in June, she loves all the chrome and now gives me the poon.

I wear a bandana, all folded and pressed, no helmet for me, I ride to impress.

I got me an attitude, I’m the baddest in town, but I check it at the door when real patchers are around.

I bought a big knife but I leave it at home, I wore it out once but it got in the way of my phone.

I call my friends “bro” now, they got new scooters too, we think we need an oil change, just no sure how to.

I watch Pauly and Cody and Vinny and Senior, but I love Mikey the most, he’s the freaking ring leader.

And don’t forget Jessie and his West Coast Choppers, building every bikers dream, 50 thousand dollar bar hoppers.

I won’t ride to Sturgis, man that’s way too far, I’ll just load up the trailer and tow with the car.

I’ll stay in a motel, five stars there’s no doubt, One with great food and where credit has clout.

I will trailer near town then jump in with some scooters, 1200 miles to drool at some girl with fake hooters.

I might get my ear pierced or another tattoo, of skulls or of dagger or maybe Fuck U.

If the vixen don’t like it and thinks I’m a dope, no problems here, it’ll wash off with soap.

Sleep on the ground! You’re kidding me right? Next thing you’ll want me to do is stay up n party all night.

I’ll buy me a patch that says “I RODE MINE THERE”, who the hells gonna know, it’s a lie but who cares.

Ride to live, live to ride, I got riden in my veins, except when it’s too hot or too cold or windy or it rains.

Yea, I’m a modern day biker, you got something to say? Send me an email, I’ll reply someday.

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'Hang in there' .....   J D Redneck